When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
