i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
