he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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