Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
