I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
