I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
