where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
