I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
