all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
