Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Welp...herpes.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
