Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar

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  (303): last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar http://tfl.nu/1mlv
  Replies (11) Good night (2953) Bad night (819)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.

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  (606): I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now. <3 Russia http://tfl.nu/k3de
  Replies (72) Good night (6603) Bad night (801)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.

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  (918): The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners. http://tfl.nu/k8de
  Replies (7) Good night (746) Bad night (3837)
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  (347): View more from New York

  so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"

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  (347): so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?" http://tfl.nu/d8rd
  Replies (57) Good night (862) Bad night (4514)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012

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  (217): you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012 http://tfl.nu/jiqa
  Replies (20) Good night (6216) Bad night (1103)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out

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  (281): She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out http://tfl.nu/guh4
  Replies (33) Good night (11329) Bad night (1278)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.

  (917): View more from New York City

  what ever happened to our old dealer?

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  (973): I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day. (917): what ever happened to our old dealer? http://tfl.nu/28sz
  Replies (1) Good night (2457) Bad night (970)
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  (530): View more from California

  I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"

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  (530): I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex" http://tfl.nu/wknw
  Replies (6) Good night (2477) Bad night (715)
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  (516): View more from New York

  my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly

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  (516): my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly http://tfl.nu/e7hc
  Replies (6) Good night (1768) Bad night (1347)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.

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  (267): The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them. http://tfl.nu/ubes
  Replies (3) Good night (1383) Bad night (1169)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.

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  (778): Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house. http://tfl.nu/6cay
  Replies (6) Good night (728) Bad night (1101)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!

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  (813): Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed! http://tfl.nu/9riq
  Replies (5) Good night (1124) Bad night (590)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity

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  (423): Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity http://tfl.nu/dliq
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (725)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..

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  (919): I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number.. http://tfl.nu/y7re
  Replies (8) Good night (1286) Bad night (832)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager

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  (248): i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager http://tfl.nu/jncg
  Replies (4) Good night (897) Bad night (349)

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