Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
