it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.