matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
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You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
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We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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