I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
