i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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