Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
