no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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