it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
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On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
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im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The ass gains better be worth it
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