My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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