I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
