i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize