Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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