He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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