theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
