Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
