did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
