WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
