Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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