As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
