I am in a vortex of obligation.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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