Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
