What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This is my gift to your gina
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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