i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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