Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
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I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
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The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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