I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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