Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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