as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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