So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You can't special order awesome
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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