This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
