We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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