Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
