you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
