You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
