btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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