If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
