I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
