Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Someone came in the potted fern
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
