You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
