Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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