You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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