You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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