I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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