I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize