Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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