your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
