Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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