i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Mom said you looked used
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
