Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
