do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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