the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Please, let me fuck your mom
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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