Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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