I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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