Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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