Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I need moral support for this bender
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
