I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
