It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
