evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
