I wish I could teleport
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
